Dorothy Parker
A collection of her most memorable wit and wisdom
Dorothy Parker was renowned for her sharp wit, clever wordplay, and incisive observations about life, love, and human nature. Below is a curated selection of her most famous quotes, showcasing the brilliance that made her one of America's greatest literary figures.
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
I'd rather have you hate me for who I am, than love me for who I am not.
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
If I didn't care for fun and such, I'd probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.
She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
They sicken of the calm, those who know the storm.
Time doth flit; oh shit.
I like to have a martini, two at the very most, after three I'm under the table, after four I'm under the host.
Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.
Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Hatred is filling, but it isn't nourishing.
I've never been a millionaire but I just know I'd be darling at it.
It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.
Beauty is skin deep, ugly goes clean to the bone.
If all the girls who attended Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
When her editor asked why Dorothy's assignment was late she replied: Someone was using the pencil.
Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
The two most beautiful words in the English language are cheque enclosed.
Years are only garments and you either wear them with style all your life or else you go dowdy to the grave.
Its not the tragedies that kills us, its the messes.
If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly, it should be thrown with great force.
What fresh hell is this?
And if my heart be scarred and burned, the safe I for all I've learned.
If wild my breast and sore my pride, I bask in dreams of suicide, if cool my heart and high my head, I think ' how lucky are the dead'.
My doctor said my irony levels were too high.
She always wanted to be a mattress, sorry, an actress.
He's a man who could get lost in an elevator.
Hellen Keller, didn't I tell you she was a con artist and a dyke?
Scratch an actor and you'll find an actress.
Miss Hepburn took care to keep away from one of the supporting actresses in case she caught acting from her.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
Tell him I was too fucking busy-- or vice versa.
I hate writing, I love having written.
You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.
I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life.
If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.
I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.
Women and elephants never forget.
Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
But I don't give up; I forget why not.
Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
Oh, it's so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
Where's the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?
She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.
Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.
You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.
Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme.
Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.
The only 'ism' Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart.
They say of me, and so they should, it's doubtful if I come to good.
Excuse my dust.
London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful. Always it believes that something good is about to come off, and it must hurry to meet it.
Hold your pen and spare your voice.
Gertrude Stein did us the most harm when she said, 'You're all a lost generation.' That got around to certain people and we all said, 'Whee! We're lost.'
I can't write five words but that I change seven.
Out in Hollywood, where the streets are paved with Goldwyn.
They tire of quiet, that have known the storm.
I'm afraid I'll be remembered for wisecracks I never said.
I had been fed, in my youth, a lot of old wives tales about the way men would instantly forsake a beautiful woman to flock around a brilliant one. It is but fair to say that, after getting out in the world, I had never seen this happen.
Look at him, a rhinestone in the rough.